Thursday, June 06, 2013

Violated

It was the usual night routine in my house last night. I prepared the things I needed for the next day, put some laundry away and then went into the shower to wash my hair.
After getting out of the shower I turned all the lights off including the light to the turtle's aquarium. It was bed time in the Diaz household and that included pets. When the lights were off the cats ran into my room and claimed their spot on my bed. I put on some P!nk and did my hair for the next day. I was going to the underwear drawer when two things happened my little gray cat who never leaves the bed once bed time has been called perked her ears up and jumped off the bed. As I looked at her I noticed my friend had text me. I took my iPhone off it's dock to see what my friend said. As I did this my little old man cat jumped next to his sister and was showing signs of distress. That's when I heard the 3 distinct bangs. I panicked and then realized must be the turtle banging on the glass. Then I heard the distinct noise of broken glass moving around.
There were a million things running through my head as I'm dialing 911. First thing was to make sure my bedroom door was locked which for the first time in a long time it wasn't so I locked myself in that room. Then I thought where do I hide? My bedroom isn't that big so there isn't anywhere besides under the bed that I can hide. I finally place myself between the bed and the wall a very tight fit.
The dispatcher says their usual line of "911, what's your emergency?" When I go to speak is when I realize I'm in a panic. It takes me two attempts of saying I think someone is breaking into my house before he can understand me. He asks for my address. This in itself is a complicated question because the street I live in starts it's numeration each new township. Each township is only a one mile radius so the numeration starts every mile. His next question when I say my street is what township. How am I going to come out alive if they don't even know what township they have to go to. The dispatcher who sounds calm yet concerned tells me he has dispatched officers to my house and tells me that he'll remain on the line with me. To keep me talking and to know what to tell the police he asks me questions like do I hear any more noise. At this point I realize two things that in fact I haven't heard any more noise, maybe it was the turtle and I'm going to feel rather embarrassed when the cops get here. The second thing I realize is that I'm going to either get killed or let the cops in butt nekkid if  I don't in fact get dressed. Have you ever tried to get dressed while on the phone where you can't put it down? Not an easy task.
What's taking the cops so long? The one thing I've boasted about the police in my neighborhood is that they always get there under 5 minutes it feels like an eternity at this point. Finally as the dispatcher talks to me I see the police lights flashing in my room. The next thing I hear is their distinct noises. I tell the dispatcher I can hear them and I'm ready to hang up. I'm feeling embarrassed because I know that all I must have heard was the turtle banging on the aquarium.
The dispatcher tells me that it is ok to leave my room now. How does he know this I wonder yet I trust him. I walk out of my room very carefully in case something or someone pops out towards me. He tells me to walk to my front door and to NOT open it unless he tells me to or I see police officers (he made it clear I could only open it if it was plural police officers.) I don't see any cops outside. I tell him the panic in my voice rising again that there aren't any cops in front of my house. What if they went to the wrong house in the wrong township? The dispatcher tells me to let him know when I see someone flash a light at me. Three different lights flash at my door and I tell him so. He says it's safe to open my door. I see no broken glass anywhere so as I open the door I think I need to apologize to the officers in my front yard for wasting their time.
I open my door when I realize that there are over 6 cops in my front yard, drive way and porch. As I'm about to open up my mouth to apologize for wasting their time one of them asks me to please come outside with him.
I follow him to the front of my porch and he flashes his light on my large front window. At this point all the cops descend on me. Was that broken when I got home (no). Has there been a recent break up (well... no the last break up is states away). Would one of my neighbors want to do me harm (no). On and on and on and on. It finally hits me someone WAS trying to break into my house. I sit on the stone wall of my porch and before I start crying I notice the dark spot. He cut himself. The would be intruder cut himself on the glass. There's blood on the glass of my broken window. He cut himself because he didn't realize it was a double pane window. They notice it too.
I can't be out here anymore and somehow a few of us go inside my house. The questions continue. They go into my living room to look at the broken window from this angle. I see my piano, my paintings, and my desk. This was my sanctuary and he violated it. As they're looking at the broken window I call my boss. It's past 10:30 so I'm not so sure he'll pick up. He doesn't. I'm even more sure the next call won't be picked up as I call my best friend. She actually does pick up and she must hear me sniffle because her first words are "what's wrong?"
I'm finally going to vocalize it and it makes it worse. It takes three tries for  me to have her understand, "the police are at my house someone tried to break in could you please pick me up,". She finally understands and all she says is I'll be right there. The other line on my phone is ringing so I switch off. I can't even try to hide it anymore. I'm not sure my boss could understand past cops and I want to go home. Home for those of you that don't understand means his house any time that I'm under distress. He says I'll be right there too. When I'm done with the phone I'm left alone with all these police officers in my house and I've never felt lonelier in my whole life.
More of the same questions again. I'm outside again. I look up in the middle of one of the questions and I see my blond best friend being blocked from coming towards me. I have to say she's with me and she has to show ID before she's allowed to come hold me as I cry like one of my nieces after I tell her no. More questions but I don't feel so lonely anymore. I look up again as the cop integrating me this time points with his pen towards my boss and he asks "is that the boss?" I shake my head yes and that's the only reason he isn't blocked from coming towards me. For the second time in 15 years that I've worked with him he sees me cry.
The police descend on him and my best friend and I are left alone to go into my house to pack and let me change into actual clothes that match. We sit in my room just talking. The officers come in my room and oh what a mess I must be because they say "don't worry we're not leaving you here alone. We have guns so you're safe while we're in here". I refuse to tell them that there guns make me feel even less safe. They're sweet guys that just wouldn't understand.
When my boss is done talking to the police I'm ready to go home but when I close my door to go they tell me they want me to wait till the investigator comes to ask me questions. I feel like I'm the bad guy here. They assure me they won't leave me alone. There's six cars in front of my house. All these guys are here for me but that fact doesn't make me feel good. Suddenly they get a call about a stabbing only a few blocks from my house. What is going on in my quiet little neighborhood tonight? They leave one police officer in front of my house while we wait for the investigator. After an hour he tells me I should just go home and the investigator will be calling me.
I come home to my mom who even though tells me to be strong let's me cuddle with her and holds me. My mom can't hold me forever though and I know it'll take some time before I feel safe again. I know this is no longer a safe world but suddenly this belief was proven to me and I don't feel safe or calm anymore. He might not have broken in but he sure stole a certain innocence from me.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Middle Age

I'm turning 35 in a few months and I find continually asking myself is this what it's come to? I'm not where I thought I'd be at this age.
When I turned 20 I remember laying on the floor crying that I was no longer going to be a teenager. When I turned 25 it was fun and exciting I had been alive for a quarter of a century. Then I turned 30 and it was still so much excitement. Welcome to dirty thirty my friends told me. Thirty is the new twenty my doctor told me. Thirty-one was a tough birthday with all the health issues that I went through. I was an emotional mess. By 33 I was back to wow I've been alive this long, a third of a century this time. Then this summer at the beach someone mentioned that I was going to be middle aged this next birthday. My thought process came to a halt at that moment.
In my twenties I thought that I'd be married and with my 3 kids at this point. I thought that I'd have someone with me to help me through the up and downs. Here I find myself totally not there. Don't get me wrong I love being single and being able to go and do as I please as I want. I love the traveling I can do and the not having to ask anyone if what I want to do is okay. This just isn't what I had planned.
I was on a date last week and let me tell you it wasn't a good date. I was thinking to myself,as he smacked his food and went down his interview questions, can I get past this stage already? It's not that I don't like my life it's just that I feel I've been doing the same thing over and over without a change. How many times can I travel on my own. How many times can I dye my hair some radical color and be called adventurous?I feel that no matter how exciting my life is I've done it all already. I'm ready for my next adventure and it just isn't coming.
I know first world problems right?

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Things my boss says

So I'm sitting in a meeting with my boss and one of our funders. Two of my programs are being reviewed right now. Nervous as sin as I always am even though I know the girl doing the review. So my boss is explaining things and talking as he answers questions. Suddenly he looks at her and says: "can I go on a tangent? This process is a bug-a-boo". He totally didn't get why we started giggling at him. Until we explained that Destiny's Child has a song by that name. He turned all shades of red.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Things my boss says about : tie-dyed pantyhose

 So I wanted to try a project I found on Pinterest. They were these cool looking tie-dyed pantyhose. So last night I found my Kool-Aid and I boiled the water and found an old pair of nylon skin toned pantyhose. The project worked and I thought they looked pretty cool.
This morning I found and awesome Navy blue skirt and a red tank that I put under a white tee along with the tie-dyed pantyhose. I thought I was rocking it.
I walked into the office and talked to my boss who didn't say anything but since it took him a month to realize that I had gone blond once I didn't expect him to notice my awesome pantyhose. As we were talking into his office he got up to go get allergy meds and that's when he looked down and here's how it went down:
Boss: Wha.Wha Wha.What happened to your legs?
Me: Oh I tie-dyed my pantyhose!
Boss: Oh thank God I thought that you had been a victim of bondage.

Sunday, April 08, 2012

What my boss says about: Passover

I'm such a good Jew I had pancakes for breakfast. They tasted really good. 

Friday, March 30, 2012

Things my boss says: Friday

We busted our *bleeps*off this week let's call it a half day. You should nap.


And this is why I love the man.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Things my boss says: wall color

If you want more color in this house you better start wearing more lipstick

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Evone a.k.a velvet-sky
28th May 1989
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