Fall

So I've been swimming in my depression the last few days. I've been worried about it but not doing anything about it. Today Chris commited me to going to the gym. I haven't been to the gym in forever. Basically for fear of what might happen if I did go health wise that is.
So I went to the gym. I ran my little heart away on the machines. I left the gym and walked to the City Sports store and bought new running shoes and some running outfits. I decided to walk all the way home. I walked 2 1/2 miles to the CVS where I met up with carrie. and then we walked another 1/2 mile home.
I realized during my walk how great life is and that IT'S FALL OUT THERE! The Penn students were all over the place, it's the nicest weather and the leaves are changing color. Time to start swimming out of the depths of this stupidity I've been keeping myself in.
"Excercise releases endorphins, endorphins make you happy, happy just don't kill their husbands. They just don't!" Elle Woods

Billy

So I think you guys have started to notice that I really like finding song lyrics that say how I feel about something at this moment in time. I'm changing Voldermort's name once again. We're going back to his old 'internet' name with a twist. He shall from now on be called Billy. Billy, as in James Blunt's song. I think they go well.
Billy's leaving today (don't know where he's going).
Holds his head in disgrace (he can't escape the truth).
He knows the price that he's paid.
He admits that it's too late to admit that he's afraid.
Chorus
Tomorrow comes. Sorrow becomes his soul mate.
The damage is done. The prodigal son is too late.
Old doors are closed but he's always open,
To relive time in his mind.
Oh Billy.

Billy's leaving today (don't know where he's going).
He's got lines on his face (they tell the story of his pain).
He accepts it's his fate.
He admits it took too long to admit that he was wrong.
Chorus
Once he was a lover sleeping with another.
Now he's just known as a cheat.
And he wish he'd had a mirror; looked a little clearer.
Seen into the eyes of the weak.
Chorus

Hear You Me

This song is about Carli Allen and her husband. She ran the Weezer fan club and both she and her husband died in a tragic car accident on their way back from a Weezer's concert. The couple was known for letting up and coming bands stay at their home when they had no where else to stay. It rang a chord with me b/c I haven't thanked all of you for all that you have done for me in the last four months. I'm finally coming out of a very dark place. I couldn't have survived without any of you and all you have done for me. I still have much to go but I've come a long way already.

There's no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go
I never said thank you for that
Thought I might get one more chance
What would you think of me now?
So lucky, so strong, so proud
I never said thank you for that
Now I'll never have a chance
May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads, the sleepless go
May angels lead you in
So what would you think of me now?
So lucky, so strong, so proud
I never said thank you for that
Now I'll never have the chance
If you were with me tonight
I'd sing to you just one more time
A song for a heart so big
God wouldn't let it live

Sexual Harrasment Against the Law

Every day I get sexually harrased by men who think they're actually going to get my attention and get me to go out with them by saying rude and crude comments. Here's an example: Walking to 30th St. Station two weeks ago a man with a velvet running suit stuck his head out of his Caddie and yelled "Nice tits baby". I turned around and cursed him out and let him know what I didn't like about his small anatomy. I won't go into details.
This is a daily occurence where a man thinks he can sexually harrass me. I've learned to flow with the blows. I ingnore them most of the time. I make loud and rude comments some times. If they really get to me I let them have it. The thing is I don't feel satisfied by it. I want something more to happen. I want something to happen to let them know that what they're doing isn't right. Today it finally happened.
I walked out of church crossed the street and put my iPod on. I heard a man yelling so I lowered down the volume. He was letting me know that he liked my 'jiggle'. I was going to ignore it until he let me know "yeah b*#@h I'm right behind you". No matter how strong they are with their harrasment no one has made as uncomfortable as I felt that moment. I looked around to see if I saw a Penn cop. Nothing but I knew they had to be around so I began walking a bit faster as his vulgarity continued. When I turned the block I saw the yellow shirt. Penn Campus cops hallelujah! I let her know the "man behind me is harrasing and yelling at me to the point of making me very uncomfortable." She asked me to stand there with her and let him pass. He took his time but he stopped and got in my face (literally) telling me some awful things. He hadn't noticed her. She was calling the Philadelphia Police only half a block away from us. When he realized what she was he was ready to kill me. She got in between him and told him she and I were just talking. She stalled him long enough for the Philadelphia cops to get there and arrest him. Finally I felt vindicated. A man finally got his for sexually harrasing me. I called all my girlfriends that have had to deal with the same stuff to let them know what had happened. We all had a good laugh.

Baltimore Snuggle Buddy

I caught the train to Wilmington to Philadelphia (it was practically free, nah it was free). In Wilmington my friend picked me up in the green VW Jetta. We drove to Baltimore. We dropped my luggage at the house and we headed to the Military base for a Labor Day weekend party. We ate, we talked, we played games.
When we went back home I got to know a family I had heard much of for a long time. They got to know the girl they had heard much of but never seen. It's a family of four sibilings and two parents. They were all home. I slept in my friends room. My friend slept with me. I'm used to my big bed and not having anyone to share it with. I thought I was going to have issues. I enjoyed sharing my bed with someone. I enjoyed waking up hugging someone. Tonight as I lay in my bed alone I realize how quickly I got used to someone's elses body next to mine at night. I miss it!