My religion takes family and marriage very seriously. A marriage is an eternal commitment beyond the grave. When children are born withing that bond of marriage they are part of that eternal family. That is some heavy commitment and that to me is scary. How do you know if a person is someone you want to spend eternity with? Every married couple I've asked says that they just knew. That just hasn't happened for me yet. I don't think any less of myself for it. I rather enjoy the life I have made while searching for that eternal mate. If I don't find it so be it too.
Meanwhile it has been fun looking for that person to spend my eternity with. Sometimes it does get confusing. Sometimes I start feeling the same way I did when I was fourteen. I get confused and unsure on what is it that I want and need. I have found myself losing focus on the long term and getting muddled in the short term things.Let's face it the instant gratification stuff is fun and enjoyable but it won't get you to the long term goals.
I like boys and I'm pretty sure boys like me. Actually I'm rather sure boys like me. While I'm sizing them up to see if they might be the one to reach that eternal goal they're doing the same. When I'm figuring it out I have learned that I have to first respect myself in order for them to respect me too. Much easier said then done might I add. Sometimes I have to stop focusing on everything around me to make sure that I'm respecting myself in order to let myself be respected. I've found out that Ms Franklin had the right thought that if you can't give me my propers you just come home and find me gone. It 's not that easy but again you have to keep your eyes on the big goal and not let the short term muddle you.
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