I can pinpoint the exact day, moment, event that caused my fear of needles. My mom took me to a dental school to have my teeth checked. We were poor and it was very obvious that I needed braces. I had a whole slew of dental issues and the student that took my case was excited because oh boy was she going to have a field day in my mouth.
So I had shots before as a kid and I realized they hurt and that I didn't like them but there was no fear of them as of yet. I had to have an extraction of a cavity I had so they had to numb me up and take the tooth out. Problem #1 was that they didn't tell me that they were going to numb me up they just brought the needle out. I didn't really panic at that point. Problem # 2 I had to see the needle come to and into my mouth and that got me really nervous. Problem #3 she hadn't used enough Novocaine so when the needle went in to numb me it hurt like sin.
So when I had to go back to get porcelain on my teeth to avoid me getting my cavities I went back to the dentist but I was on to this girl. She wasn't so bright and she was going to cause me pain in the stuff that she was going to do. So she didn't explain what she was going to do exactly so I went in and I was a bit nervous but I was a little kid how much harm could she do I thought. Well let me tell you. So she opens my mouth up she puts this little thing to keep it open during the procedure. I'm doing ok so far. She's putting stuff here and there checking my teeth out. She puts the Novocaine gel on so I don't feel everything she's doing she tells me. Then I see it coming towards my face. Once again little princess dentist forgets to tell me she's going to numb me up even more with a needle. I see the needle coming and I panic. I'm a kid so I think I need to run out of here. I understand she's probably frustrated but what she did wrong has affected me for the rest of my life. She grabbed my left shoulder with her free hand and pushes me down. I try to push back up so she puts her left knee on my chest and sticks me with the needle. I cried throughout the whole procedure.
I've never had a cavity in my whole life because of the work she did. I cry and have to be held down anytime that a needle has to come near me. Most doctors are understanding. There are a few sadist out there that seem to enjoy the panic and fear that the needle brings to me but mostly people are understanding. I've learned to look away, to ask the nurse to hold me down, I ask for more time, I ask for them to talk to me about mundane things. I've learned to cope.
In 2001 I was having severe pain in my mouth. My boss took x-rays and look at my mouth. I had four impacted wisdom teeth and I had two other teeth that had cysts and needed to come out before I lost more than the 6 he had to take out. I cried for an hour when he told me the work he had to do. He held my hand and was angered when I told him why I feared not just needles but him too. He promised he would be gentle. First he did 3 on one side and he had his assistant hold my hand the whole time. I cried but it wasn't so bad. A month later he did the other 3 and I cried again but he was patient and understanding and it worked out. I learned that if I told doctors my fear of needles they'd be a lot more patient with me. I'm not so bad as I once was but I still don't like needles. Thank goodness I've never had to have more extractions after that.
Recently I had some x-rays done of my mouth and a very crooked tooth I had was beginning to be a problem. It was starting to get a pocket that soon would be a cyst. I was so angry that I wasn't cleaning my teeth well and that that had happened. The dentist explained that no matter how well I cleaned that sooner or later that would have happened and that the tooth had to come out.
Today was the day the tooth had to come out. Today was not a good day at work and then I had to go to get tortured with this extraction. When I got to the dentist I was a wreck between the office politics I had to put up with and the extraction. My dentist looked at me and he knew that it wasn't going to be pretty. When I sat down in the chair he gave me a pill and he said "that's a Valium. Take it and it'll calm you down and make both of our day easier". I took it but doubted it would. This man had the hands of an angel and the Valium helped. I only felt one needle pinch and then I was completely numb for the rest of the needle pinches. Even though I was nervous he talked me through the whole thing and I was at ease. I did feel the pressure he put in my mouth when he began to loosen the tooth to take it out. I wanted to cry I wanted to run out of there but he kept talking to me and calming me down. Two minutes later I feel him stop and say wow. That freaked me out! I opened up one eye and in his hand he had my tooth. It sort of just popped out. He let me sit there another 10 minutes so I could compose myself. He gave me some prescriptions so I could manage the pain.
Today I learned something. I always thought that I was afraid of needles because I was weak, I learned that my fear of needles wouldn't have happened or maybe not been as bad if that student had been as patient and understanding as my current dentist. It wasn't a pretty procedure today but I managed. My doctor told me when we were done that he was as nervous as I was because he knew what I was going through. He was nervous but instead of putting me ill at ease because he was nervous he talked to me and made sure I was calm.
I think that if we all concentrate on what those around us are going through instead of on ourselves the world would be a better place. So let's hope that's the last extraction I have to go through. Next on my dental list is adult braces. Oh boy so excited for that!
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