Words left unspoken

Depeche Mode's Precious

I was a block from work when this song came on my iPod this morning. The chorus hit my like a ton of bricks. I've been pushing something back and not paying attention to it trying to get the rest of my life moving along. I've listened to the song a million times today after that.

(lyrics)

Things get damaged
Things get broken
I thought we'd manage
But words left unspoken
Left us so brittle
There was so little left to give

I'm standing up and putting everything out there for all to know. I have a deep and firm knowledge that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the true church of God. Does this meaning that I stand behind the leaders of the church 100 %? I'm human and sometimes I hear what they say and shake my head. I have a hard time with what they preach. What I do know is that through my hardest times the only thing that has not turned it's back on me is my church. I have done wrong and come back and been accepted with open arms and with love once more. The Church has kept me stable. People my have a hard time with the fact that I am a member of the Church but that is on them. When they are living my life they can choice the path they choose but since I'm the one living it this is what I choose. You who I am thinking of as I type this have made your choices and I never once judged you. I never once called you anything but a friend. I never turned my back on you and if I would have I would have given you reasoning.  Did you once ask me before judging me how I felt about the words you heard that hurt you so much? That's a simple NO. 

As the song says "there was so little left to give'. You have chosen and I abide by your decision. There is little left to give, I have no physical or emotional energy left for you. Your antics have left me with no more energy or will to salvage our friendship. You once said you wonder how our friendship would have ended had we not been torn apart in our youth. Truth is we weren't torn apart. You called me and said that you wanted to talk to me and you never showed up. You judged me then that I couldn't handle the truth. You judge me now that I won't love you for who you are. Truth is YOU couldn't handle your truth and YOU can't love yourself for who you are. 

(lyrics)

I pray You learn to trust
Have faith in both of us

I pray for much more than that actually. I pray that you learn to love yourself. I pray that someday you'll know of the true admiration I had for you, how when I was younger I held you in awe. Unfortunately when you come to that understanding I well be long gone from here.