My Dark Secret

Instead of getting myself in trouble and sending this out to someone that I shouldn't contact I'll just put this out there for the rest of the world to read. I know the logic doesn't work for you but it works for me. Don't question my sanity. I do that everyday on my own. 

Dark Angel,

I don't know if it's the last 3 songs I  listened to before I drifted to sleep or the constant news of the Gulf Coast or the fact that I've been reading the Southern Vampire Series newest book or that you are somehow subconsciously still in my thoughts. I went to the park today. I went to kill time. I thought I'd tan, read a book and people watch while waiting for my next appointment. There was a jazz band playing when I got there so I put down my shawl and lay down to listen to them as I read. I had on a summer dress and flip flops and to block the sun from burning my face a large brim hat and sunglasses. I took out my book and began to read. I felt myself getting drowsy so I turned on my iPod to keep me awake. Coldplay's Cemeteries of London came on first. The black and white music video always reminds me of the black and white photos of you in the cemetery, you wearing your long leather coat and boots. Next came to back to back Depeche Mode songs: Enjoy the Silence and Corrupt. I must have drifted to sleep while I was listening to Corrupt. 

In my sleep I dreamt. I was sitting in the Biloxi beach. I knew it was Biloxi and not any of the Delaware or New Jersey beaches because of the sand. The sand down south is different from the one here. I was wearing a black two piece with a white skull. I had seen a similar swim suit in Victoria's Secret earlier that day which is how I'm guessing it came into my dream. Boys were playing running around me. I ignored them as the wind blew my hair. Someone stood in front of me so I looked up at them. It was Armando. I smiled at him. " We're going canoeing he told me". I looked around and saw Dave and Jeremy. It was Dave and Jeremy as they are now not as they were when the four of us were growing up. I looked around the beach to see where the canoe was. I looked out to the Gulf and realized the water was dark and thick and sure enough it was not water but oil. Then I noticed you walking on water or in this case oil. You were wearing black cargo pants and your boots with a black and white tee shirt. I stood up and you beckoned me. I went into the water and then remembered that I neither knew how to walk on water or how to swim. As I sunk into the oil I looked for you. You were gone. I woke up.

Poetically enough the sun was hidden by rain clouds and it was beginning to drizzle when I woke up. I grabbed my stuff and left the park.