The Disappearing Apartment

A very close friend and I were comparing notes on our relationships gone bad situations. We realized that even though our situations were somewhat different there were many similarities. He and I were talking about it right before I headed off to bed. As I read my book in bed after talking to him I began to think on how life has changed thanks to a relationship gone terribly wrong.
The first month I ran away. Even though I knew I had to come back to the apartment where the ghost of it all lived I was happy being away from it that first month. The memories were still too raw for me to live in my apartment and try to get over it all. It was great not being alone too as I got over the hurt. When I moved back into my apartment there was a sense of change in both my house and in me. Part of the change was of course the car full of stuff I had acquired while I was away but there was more then that I had changed in that month too.
The first change that happened was in my bathroom. Isn’t that the weirdest place to start a change? I took down the old nasty head shower and put in a brand new one in. It’s one of those five speed ones that you can remove from its place and have the water reach anywhere you want. You may insert your dirty thoughts in now! It gives off more water and it honestly is just prettier all around to look at. It made my bathroom a place of refuge and I left it happier.
Then I concentrated in the main room of the house, the living room. The first thing that disappeared was the dining set that I had. I used it more as a table that held all of my paperwork for my job and anything I didn’t know where to place. I hardly ate on it and the memory of eating breakfast on it angered me every time I saw it. The table went to a friend’s house and a beautiful grayish-green love seat took its place. A lamp was put next to the seat. Suddenly I have found my new work station. I either sit or lay on the couch as I work on my laptop everyday. Then there was the purple area rug that matched the painting on my mantle. Finally I said screw the TV and the DVD player and gave them away to be replaced by a HDTV and a DVR. Yeah I upgraded the living room. The upgrade wasn’t what mattered though it was the feeling of a new home while staying in the old one. It was having things that reminded me of everything removed by ones that I could create new memories with.
A week ago I started working on the bedroom. A lot of things were thrown out from the bedroom. All of my old pillows were tossed out into the garbage to be replaced by newer ones. Sounds like a weird change I know but each time I used one of those pillows I would think is this one he used or was this one of mine. Today I went online to The Company Store and bought three sets of bedding. The summer sets that I owned brought the want to vomit each time I saw them. The pillows have brought a great sense of comfort at night. The new set I put out changes the room into a room that I don’t recognize. It makes me happy. The old apartment that held so many miserable memories is slowly disappearing being taken over by a new happy apartment that reflects the new happy me that is emerging.