My Bishop called to ask me to see him on Sunday before church. I gave him a yes and was wondering what was going on.
When I got to his office today I sat down and put my cards on the table. I figured it had to be one of three things. He surprised me when he said it was two of the three. He called me as the Relief Society Enrichment Counselor. I started laughing when he told me. When I realized he was serious I stopped laughing. Took the position and then started laughing again. He was serious he wanted me there so I said yes.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Thursday, April 05, 2007
One of these things is not like the others
People travel in packs with other people that are just like them. That's at least what I was told when I was a young girl. I never believed that it was completly true since my friends were always what I wanted to be but never what I saw myself as.
In high school I was friends with the really smart people in school. My grades would tell you other wise about my intelligence. Yes I did go to a Magnet school, yes I understood the criteria in class but I was unwilling to do all the work. I doubted my intelligence still do actually.
In high school I also hung out with the group of people that would be considered artsy. All the girls had long hair that they would put up in ponytails. They'd wear long flowing skirts with flower prints with birkenstocks or their old Converse. They'd have charcoal or paint on their faces after school. The boys were all smokers and in some kind of band. There was the Dave triad in my grade too. Dave M. wore Doc Martens and black jeans w/ a white shirt and his leather jacket year round. Dave Green wore dresses to school year round but was straight. His hear would be a variety of colors but mostly green. Dave Garcia was the pretty boy of all three but still hung out with the group and played the guitar for the girls. I didn't have an artistic bone in me. I sometimes wondered if they just let me in their group to be nice.
In college no matter where I sat down in classes people seemed to flock near me because I was the smart girl according to them. I was quiet but I didn't get half of what was going on in class. It seemed my classmates got less then I did though. When I walked into the music lounge in school there was always someone in one of the popular cliques that wanted me to sit with them. They wanted me to explain something or just wanted to talk. I would hide in the cafeteria to eat and study. Every semester someone in one of my science classes would find me and ask me to explain something. Before I knew it each semester I had a study group I never planned on of ten people. I over heard someone once say oh she's the popular girl in John's group. John was the popular guy in the class. John and I helped each other with homework but I never thought I was part of his group or that they all liked me. Yes they were nice to me but they had to be they knew I was the one who would explain the mysterious of biology to them.
When I started taking the pre-requisites for Nursing I sat in the seat that made it easiest to leave the class. Medical terminolgy seemed like it was going to be boring. I was surprised when the girl w/ dyed black hair and tattoos sat next to me and started chatting me up. I was more shocked when a week later we were on campus and she said hi to me and introduced me to as the cool chic in her med. term class. I wasn't tattoed I ddin't have smart ass comments to make all I did was be nice to her. I made friends w/ all the goth kids that semester. I wasnt' goth though so I didn't get it.
Then it happened I graduated college and became an adult. I moved out on my own into Univ. City. I found myself hanging out with all the pretty girls in my neighborhood. They all liked to wear nothing but name brands and just out shine everyone. I was stunned by their beauty but they loved to include me in things. I like pretty clothes, I like name brands but I'm not pretty so why befriend me? Then I met my neighbors... the hippie, the artist, the seamestress and her boyfriend, the pretty blonde with brains. We can all talk in the hallway togehter for hours. My apartment is the center of activity in the building. We do things together and I'm always having my door knocked with one of them having a question. The artsy building with me the social worker... and yet the befriend me. I'm not like them or so I think so, so why do I befriend them if I travel with them why don't I look like them or am like them? Am I missing something?
In high school I was friends with the really smart people in school. My grades would tell you other wise about my intelligence. Yes I did go to a Magnet school, yes I understood the criteria in class but I was unwilling to do all the work. I doubted my intelligence still do actually.
In high school I also hung out with the group of people that would be considered artsy. All the girls had long hair that they would put up in ponytails. They'd wear long flowing skirts with flower prints with birkenstocks or their old Converse. They'd have charcoal or paint on their faces after school. The boys were all smokers and in some kind of band. There was the Dave triad in my grade too. Dave M. wore Doc Martens and black jeans w/ a white shirt and his leather jacket year round. Dave Green wore dresses to school year round but was straight. His hear would be a variety of colors but mostly green. Dave Garcia was the pretty boy of all three but still hung out with the group and played the guitar for the girls. I didn't have an artistic bone in me. I sometimes wondered if they just let me in their group to be nice.
In college no matter where I sat down in classes people seemed to flock near me because I was the smart girl according to them. I was quiet but I didn't get half of what was going on in class. It seemed my classmates got less then I did though. When I walked into the music lounge in school there was always someone in one of the popular cliques that wanted me to sit with them. They wanted me to explain something or just wanted to talk. I would hide in the cafeteria to eat and study. Every semester someone in one of my science classes would find me and ask me to explain something. Before I knew it each semester I had a study group I never planned on of ten people. I over heard someone once say oh she's the popular girl in John's group. John was the popular guy in the class. John and I helped each other with homework but I never thought I was part of his group or that they all liked me. Yes they were nice to me but they had to be they knew I was the one who would explain the mysterious of biology to them.
When I started taking the pre-requisites for Nursing I sat in the seat that made it easiest to leave the class. Medical terminolgy seemed like it was going to be boring. I was surprised when the girl w/ dyed black hair and tattoos sat next to me and started chatting me up. I was more shocked when a week later we were on campus and she said hi to me and introduced me to as the cool chic in her med. term class. I wasn't tattoed I ddin't have smart ass comments to make all I did was be nice to her. I made friends w/ all the goth kids that semester. I wasnt' goth though so I didn't get it.
Then it happened I graduated college and became an adult. I moved out on my own into Univ. City. I found myself hanging out with all the pretty girls in my neighborhood. They all liked to wear nothing but name brands and just out shine everyone. I was stunned by their beauty but they loved to include me in things. I like pretty clothes, I like name brands but I'm not pretty so why befriend me? Then I met my neighbors... the hippie, the artist, the seamestress and her boyfriend, the pretty blonde with brains. We can all talk in the hallway togehter for hours. My apartment is the center of activity in the building. We do things together and I'm always having my door knocked with one of them having a question. The artsy building with me the social worker... and yet the befriend me. I'm not like them or so I think so, so why do I befriend them if I travel with them why don't I look like them or am like them? Am I missing something?
Thursday, March 29, 2007
The Mystery Sock
Since I can remember I never told my mom anything about my private life. This was for two reasons... to protect my mom from her very imaginative mind and to protect me from my very imaginative mom. The smallest little thing has my mom concluding the craziest things. I remember once slipping that my best friend's mom said she'd make me a wedding dress if the day ever came that I needed one. Two hours later my brother called me telling me she had called him in a panic saying I was getting married and she didn't even know to who. That day I made sure to not even tell my mom the smallest detail.
As you all know and probably have been a partner in crime to, I have tons of friends come over and/or sleep over my house. My neighbors always raise their eyebrows when they see the ppl that come out of my apt. each morning. Gay men, straight men, lesbians, straight women, black, white, Asian, and Latino I don't discriminate on who can sleep over. My mom has never found out of course. Her mind would take her to me having wild orgies in this apartment.
Since I usually do my own laundry at work if anyone leaves any clothes in my apartment she won't find out. The case usually is that my friends well comb through the apartment to take any piece of evidence that they stayed over with them.
Now I had two guy friends sleep over this laundry cycle. They both took their socks off at some point. They both were wearing white socks with grey bottoms. They both are messy individuals. Messy people are ok with me because I can usually cover my tracks and anyone elses but last night I made a HUGE mistake. I put the first wash in the dryer and the second wash to start running and went to bed. My mom finished my laundry for me this morning when she got in. As she was folding the clothes one single men's sock fell out the wash that had all of my unmentionables. My mom took the sock and didn't say anything but 'this fell out of your wash.'
I looked at the sock evaluated what happened in seconds while never leaving my eyes from hers... and then said 'hmmm ok if it did I guess you should just put it in with the rest of my clothes' and then turned around and continued dictating information to my supervisor.
She just stayed there and stared at me for a good five minutes. Now the stare down is something I'm very knowledgeable about. She used to use the stare down when she knew I was lying to her and when I was little I would finally break down and tell her the truth. The thing is she never changed the tactic and I learned how to stop freaking out about it. I soon learned to just remain calm. She didn't know anything she just had conclusions based on one sock. She finally put the sock away.
So to you my readers I ask... Which one of you idiots took your sock off and left it in my laundry? I think I have it down to two of you but I'm not sure it could have been a number of people so whom ever is missing a sock 'fess up and be aware you owe me BIG. I mean you owe me like a nice shiny gift or a dinner at a nice restaurant. I'm going to have to dodge glances, looks, questions, and sentences that might incriminate me for at least a month. All of that over the small mistake of someone not taking a FREAKING sock with them. Deep breath.... it'll be ok.
As you all know and probably have been a partner in crime to, I have tons of friends come over and/or sleep over my house. My neighbors always raise their eyebrows when they see the ppl that come out of my apt. each morning. Gay men, straight men, lesbians, straight women, black, white, Asian, and Latino I don't discriminate on who can sleep over. My mom has never found out of course. Her mind would take her to me having wild orgies in this apartment.
Since I usually do my own laundry at work if anyone leaves any clothes in my apartment she won't find out. The case usually is that my friends well comb through the apartment to take any piece of evidence that they stayed over with them.
Now I had two guy friends sleep over this laundry cycle. They both took their socks off at some point. They both were wearing white socks with grey bottoms. They both are messy individuals. Messy people are ok with me because I can usually cover my tracks and anyone elses but last night I made a HUGE mistake. I put the first wash in the dryer and the second wash to start running and went to bed. My mom finished my laundry for me this morning when she got in. As she was folding the clothes one single men's sock fell out the wash that had all of my unmentionables. My mom took the sock and didn't say anything but 'this fell out of your wash.'
I looked at the sock evaluated what happened in seconds while never leaving my eyes from hers... and then said 'hmmm ok if it did I guess you should just put it in with the rest of my clothes' and then turned around and continued dictating information to my supervisor.
She just stayed there and stared at me for a good five minutes. Now the stare down is something I'm very knowledgeable about. She used to use the stare down when she knew I was lying to her and when I was little I would finally break down and tell her the truth. The thing is she never changed the tactic and I learned how to stop freaking out about it. I soon learned to just remain calm. She didn't know anything she just had conclusions based on one sock. She finally put the sock away.
So to you my readers I ask... Which one of you idiots took your sock off and left it in my laundry? I think I have it down to two of you but I'm not sure it could have been a number of people so whom ever is missing a sock 'fess up and be aware you owe me BIG. I mean you owe me like a nice shiny gift or a dinner at a nice restaurant. I'm going to have to dodge glances, looks, questions, and sentences that might incriminate me for at least a month. All of that over the small mistake of someone not taking a FREAKING sock with them. Deep breath.... it'll be ok.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Drama Queen
I'm a drama queen. If one thing goes wrong I break down and start thinking that everything is going wrong or well go wrong. This happened on Saturday the day of my birthday party. I broke down and started crying but when the party started it was amazing to a point that I can't even remember why I was freaking out.
So many people showed up. It was more people then I expected. The atmosphere was great and the food was wonderful. I'm sorry to all of you that I doubted. Please forgive me for my drama queen abilities. Thank you all that helped make this such a succesful party.
So many people showed up. It was more people then I expected. The atmosphere was great and the food was wonderful. I'm sorry to all of you that I doubted. Please forgive me for my drama queen abilities. Thank you all that helped make this such a succesful party.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
I'm extremly cranky right now. I actually spent the last hour and a half crying in frustration. My birthday was Thursday and today I'm suppose to be preparing for my party. Nothing's gone right. I was suppose to go shopping w/ someone but they had a friend come into town and they decided friends trumped family. My boss said he'd take me but he then dumped it on someone else b/c he had a family thing come up. That person had other things to do so two hours before my party I have nothing prepared.
So far I've had two people call to cancel. One called to say that they'd only come to drop my present because they didn't want to be here while my mom was here. Then I had a friend who e-mailed me three times this week promising me he'd be here no matter what. I called him this morning to see how he was doing and co-ordinate how he'd get here because he can't drive due to health issues. Now I only called because I saw him online when I was on MySpace. The person that answered the phone said that he was asleep. Then they told me he'd had a rough night... it smells fishy to me it sounds like he's trying to get out from coming.
My mom is here too watching my every step and telling me how I'm doing everything wrong. I hate birthdays I hate parties I hate people who promise to be here for me and don't... All I want is a hug right now but I can't even get that. I hate my life.
So far I've had two people call to cancel. One called to say that they'd only come to drop my present because they didn't want to be here while my mom was here. Then I had a friend who e-mailed me three times this week promising me he'd be here no matter what. I called him this morning to see how he was doing and co-ordinate how he'd get here because he can't drive due to health issues. Now I only called because I saw him online when I was on MySpace. The person that answered the phone said that he was asleep. Then they told me he'd had a rough night... it smells fishy to me it sounds like he's trying to get out from coming.
My mom is here too watching my every step and telling me how I'm doing everything wrong. I hate birthdays I hate parties I hate people who promise to be here for me and don't... All I want is a hug right now but I can't even get that. I hate my life.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Pet Peeves
There very few things that erk the shit out of me in life. The few that do though just erk it all out.
The two biggest pet peeves are very similar... number one pet peeve is when you send out an invite and you ask ppl to RSVP and they don't. Worst is when they do reply saying yes or no and then go against the RSVP they gave you. It just drives me up the wall in such a way. Ppl just don't realize how hard it is to plan a party. You need to know the exact numbers and you need to know the who's and the when's. I'm a big place card person so when you say that you're not coming I don't have one, and I hate it when you take all that time to make a place card and the person just doesn't bother to tell you they won't be able to make it after they told you they were coming. You're wasting my time!
The second one is when someone says that they'll call you by a certain date or that they'll show up at your place and they never do. The biggest offenders of this are usually men. You do know men that by saying you'll call or come over because you don 't want to be the bad guy and say no you actually are becoming the bad guy? Just be honest and say no sorry doesn't matter how much you beg and how cute you look and how much you give me the pout w/ the puppy dog eyes I really can't. If you say you're coming over to my place that means I won't be able to go out all day waiting for you. YOU MY FRIEND HAVE WASTED MY WHOLE DAY. Just call and say won't be able to make it. I can still salvage my day somehow. Come on ppl stop pissing me off.
BTW the first person to do this to me for my b-day watch out because I'm not taking it this year. I'm sick and tired of ppl not showing up to their own b-days, promising to come to mine and then not coming b/c they're afraid of their girlfriends... I'm not taking the SHIT this year people. My time is worth more then anything else in my life so stop wasting it. Ok I'm done ranting now
The two biggest pet peeves are very similar... number one pet peeve is when you send out an invite and you ask ppl to RSVP and they don't. Worst is when they do reply saying yes or no and then go against the RSVP they gave you. It just drives me up the wall in such a way. Ppl just don't realize how hard it is to plan a party. You need to know the exact numbers and you need to know the who's and the when's. I'm a big place card person so when you say that you're not coming I don't have one, and I hate it when you take all that time to make a place card and the person just doesn't bother to tell you they won't be able to make it after they told you they were coming. You're wasting my time!
The second one is when someone says that they'll call you by a certain date or that they'll show up at your place and they never do. The biggest offenders of this are usually men. You do know men that by saying you'll call or come over because you don 't want to be the bad guy and say no you actually are becoming the bad guy? Just be honest and say no sorry doesn't matter how much you beg and how cute you look and how much you give me the pout w/ the puppy dog eyes I really can't. If you say you're coming over to my place that means I won't be able to go out all day waiting for you. YOU MY FRIEND HAVE WASTED MY WHOLE DAY. Just call and say won't be able to make it. I can still salvage my day somehow. Come on ppl stop pissing me off.
BTW the first person to do this to me for my b-day watch out because I'm not taking it this year. I'm sick and tired of ppl not showing up to their own b-days, promising to come to mine and then not coming b/c they're afraid of their girlfriends... I'm not taking the SHIT this year people. My time is worth more then anything else in my life so stop wasting it. Ok I'm done ranting now
Monday, February 26, 2007
Excercise releases endorphines, endorphines make you happy, happy ppl don't kill their husbands, they just don't!
Today was my first day back at the gym since probably early December. I just haven't been able to pull myself to go. Between the depression that I was going through and the busy schedule I keep the gym just wasn't an option. Today due to snow I had to close work so I had some free time in my hands. I decided to run some errands for work and myself. Some of those errands were going to take me a half block from the gym. I ended up packing my gym clothes and then heading out. I ran on the tread mill for half an hour. I could tell I was out of shape. I easily found myself out of breath. I was sweating which isn't something that I usually do and then I found myself dying of thirst. I can usually wrong 6 miles before I find that I have to drink water, today half a mile in I found myself looking for the bottle water.
There was another change too. I used to run to 'happy' music to get me going. As an example I have Mananamma by the Muppets in my iPod to run to. Today music like that was slowing me down. I found that Linkin Park and and Staind were more my musical taste in order to run. I found that I had to find my negative energy to keep up my pace. Now yesterday I was told that I've been acting bubbly so I thought it strange that I had to find negative energy in order to run. Maybe I'm learning to use that negative energy in a positive way.
I must say that even though I got home feeling tired I felt great. The negative things in my life didnt bother me afterwards. Excercise and anti-depressants are my two best-friends! Lets hope that I can lose some of this weight that I gained while I've been sitting on my butt. My next big adventure is my annual check-up by my favorite Dr. Todd Vladyka. Here's to hoping I have good blood pressure and low cholesterol. I'll let you guys know about that as soon as it happens.
There was another change too. I used to run to 'happy' music to get me going. As an example I have Mananamma by the Muppets in my iPod to run to. Today music like that was slowing me down. I found that Linkin Park and and Staind were more my musical taste in order to run. I found that I had to find my negative energy to keep up my pace. Now yesterday I was told that I've been acting bubbly so I thought it strange that I had to find negative energy in order to run. Maybe I'm learning to use that negative energy in a positive way.
I must say that even though I got home feeling tired I felt great. The negative things in my life didnt bother me afterwards. Excercise and anti-depressants are my two best-friends! Lets hope that I can lose some of this weight that I gained while I've been sitting on my butt. My next big adventure is my annual check-up by my favorite Dr. Todd Vladyka. Here's to hoping I have good blood pressure and low cholesterol. I'll let you guys know about that as soon as it happens.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Life lessons
Sometime in July of 2006 I wrote a blog about ppl that I felt had abandoned me. By ppl I mean men. Recenlty one of the two men discussed asked to let him back into my life. Now you say seeing how I let Billy back in my life and how that exploded on my face I would know better and say no. Now Josh and I hadn't had contact in over 5 years but who's counting right? OK so obviouisly I am. Now I knew my best guy friend was in contact with him. I had asked Chris to never give him any type of contact information on me. Chris is a good boy who doesn't like to get the Wrath of Lupe so he was good and never did it. The other night he called and fessed up that he gave Josh my phone number. Before I was able to get angry he explained why. While I was still on the phone Josh called.
He wanted me to be angry... he wanted me to hate him. I was far away from those feelings or any feelings for him. I explained to him that I wasn't angry and never had the right to be angry for his life choices. We decided to meet and see how things went.
When we met we talked for a long time. We talked for two days non-stop to be honest. I learned a lesson that many ppl have been trying to get me to learn. PPl don't leave me because I'm unloveable or because something is innately wrong w/ me they leave due to their own issues. So I want to say thank you to Josh for that lesson. I'm not sure if Josh ever wants to see me again or if we ever will but I know that it's not because of me now and for that lesson I'm grateful to him.
He wanted me to be angry... he wanted me to hate him. I was far away from those feelings or any feelings for him. I explained to him that I wasn't angry and never had the right to be angry for his life choices. We decided to meet and see how things went.
When we met we talked for a long time. We talked for two days non-stop to be honest. I learned a lesson that many ppl have been trying to get me to learn. PPl don't leave me because I'm unloveable or because something is innately wrong w/ me they leave due to their own issues. So I want to say thank you to Josh for that lesson. I'm not sure if Josh ever wants to see me again or if we ever will but I know that it's not because of me now and for that lesson I'm grateful to him.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
My Baby Daddy
I have a baby boy named Bobby Magee Strauss. He only weighs 9 lbs and has the largest most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. They're big and brown like mine. He can't speak but he communicates anything he wants with whimpers, cries and his eyes. He loves being carried by me wherever we may go. His father,Kevin, who has full custody of him at the moment drives him in the car all the time. Bob loves car rides. We always ask him if he wants to go for a car ride and his eyes light up. He likes looking at big semi-s going by when he's in the car. I love playing with Bob when I have a chance. I love kissing him and feeling his cold wet nose on my face. THe only problems is the little Silkie Terrier likes biting my nose.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
It's a Boy!
We all know that I'm nothing but a big tomboy that learned how to put on a dress and wear make-up in a way that I can pass off as a normal girl. I get a long better with boys for some reason. Probably because I was raised by my brother and didn't have a strong womanly influence in my life. I always have said that I want to raise nothing but boys just because I know how to deal with them.
I've noticed one thing about boys though. Boys that were born between the months of September to November and I are a bad combo. We sort of feed off of each others craziness and things always end up really really ugly. Then again males born between the months of February and May and I seem to have nothing in common but we always become BFF (read sarcasm in the BFF comment). I think men born during those months have an inner peace that I need and I have a craziness that they need. To all of you that have given me this sanity I wish all of you a happy birthday. Thank you for being in my life. I hope to have many more February to May boys come into my life. Muah to all of you.
I've noticed one thing about boys though. Boys that were born between the months of September to November and I are a bad combo. We sort of feed off of each others craziness and things always end up really really ugly. Then again males born between the months of February and May and I seem to have nothing in common but we always become BFF (read sarcasm in the BFF comment). I think men born during those months have an inner peace that I need and I have a craziness that they need. To all of you that have given me this sanity I wish all of you a happy birthday. Thank you for being in my life. I hope to have many more February to May boys come into my life. Muah to all of you.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Secrets
It's been 9 months of only a handful of ppl knowing my secret. 9 months of staying quite and wondering who might find out. 9 months of sadness and 9 months of trying to forgive. 9 months of staying away from those things I held dearest. 9 months of glances every way to make sure no one was looking. Finally on Sunday at 4:20 some of that was taken away! Three more months and I might be off free. Hopefully it won't take longer then that. I know I had to go through all of this but it's been tough on me. I've grown from this though and I'm grateful for that.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Orchid Stem
Seventy degree weather on a January weekend. I was getting off the train in Center City wearing nothing but a scarf to go w/ my t-shirt and jeans to keep warm. Unusually warm weather for a January but I wasn't complaining. Before I got on the trolley going home I had to make change for laundary. My hamper at home was beginning to overflow.
The cop standing near the change machine looked at me as I kept putting all the quarters into my bag as they came out of the machine. Several dropt on the floor and I had to pick them up. I could feel his stare on me as I bent over to pick it up. As I began walking towards the building exit I could still feel him looking at me. As I past the smoothie stand I thought if I should buy one. I wanted to stop but then realized I really wasn't hungry and that I shouldn't eat one they were a summer treat. Yes it did feel like summer but it really wasn't.
As I opened the door to leave the building I began thinking how life had been like for me these last 8 months. I finally was coming out of a long dark tunnel. Things were good again. Life was happy and I was beginning to figure things out. There was a red light as I got to the corner of the street. Then there was the tap on my shoulder. I felt myself tense up and my street smarts turn on. I didn't recognize the man who's hand was still on my shoulder. Things seemed to go in slow motion suddenly.
"Have you gotten flowers yet this year?" he asked me as he handed me a stem of Orchids.
He obviously mistaken me for someone else.
"I'm sorry?"
"This are for you," he handed me the flowers. I accepted them while looking at him suspiciously.
Was this guy for real? I looked into his eyes and there didn't seem to be any malice in them. I started laughing not knowing how to react.
"Thank you, I don't know what to say. They're beautiful. Sorry I don't mean to laugh it's just that this never has happened to me," I explained trying not to offend him.
"It should happen to you more often you're beautiful," I knew where this was going.
"Thank you, I'm sorry I don't know your name," I told him
"It's Chris,"
"That's my best friends name. My name is Lupe by the way,"
"Were you going down to the station?"
"Yes I was headed home where are you headed?"
"I was on my way to catch a taxi to Center City when I saw you," he explained.
"And you had enough time to buy flowers and catch up with me?"
"I bolted so I didn't lose you out of my site," he laughed.
"You were determined," I smiled at him
"Yes I couldn't miss the opportunity. I'd like to take you to dinner sometime," we exchanged numbers and we each went on our own way.
Yeah I know it sounds like one of those romatic crappy stories I used to write in my Creative Writing classes the clencher is this isn't a work of fiction. This really happened to me today.
Never before! Trying not to let it go to my head but it's going to be hard. I got flowers from a perfect stranger today!
The cop standing near the change machine looked at me as I kept putting all the quarters into my bag as they came out of the machine. Several dropt on the floor and I had to pick them up. I could feel his stare on me as I bent over to pick it up. As I began walking towards the building exit I could still feel him looking at me. As I past the smoothie stand I thought if I should buy one. I wanted to stop but then realized I really wasn't hungry and that I shouldn't eat one they were a summer treat. Yes it did feel like summer but it really wasn't.
As I opened the door to leave the building I began thinking how life had been like for me these last 8 months. I finally was coming out of a long dark tunnel. Things were good again. Life was happy and I was beginning to figure things out. There was a red light as I got to the corner of the street. Then there was the tap on my shoulder. I felt myself tense up and my street smarts turn on. I didn't recognize the man who's hand was still on my shoulder. Things seemed to go in slow motion suddenly.
"Have you gotten flowers yet this year?" he asked me as he handed me a stem of Orchids.
He obviously mistaken me for someone else.
"I'm sorry?"
"This are for you," he handed me the flowers. I accepted them while looking at him suspiciously.
Was this guy for real? I looked into his eyes and there didn't seem to be any malice in them. I started laughing not knowing how to react.
"Thank you, I don't know what to say. They're beautiful. Sorry I don't mean to laugh it's just that this never has happened to me," I explained trying not to offend him.
"It should happen to you more often you're beautiful," I knew where this was going.
"Thank you, I'm sorry I don't know your name," I told him
"It's Chris,"
"That's my best friends name. My name is Lupe by the way,"
"Were you going down to the station?"
"Yes I was headed home where are you headed?"
"I was on my way to catch a taxi to Center City when I saw you," he explained.
"And you had enough time to buy flowers and catch up with me?"
"I bolted so I didn't lose you out of my site," he laughed.
"You were determined," I smiled at him
"Yes I couldn't miss the opportunity. I'd like to take you to dinner sometime," we exchanged numbers and we each went on our own way.
Yeah I know it sounds like one of those romatic crappy stories I used to write in my Creative Writing classes the clencher is this isn't a work of fiction. This really happened to me today.
Never before! Trying not to let it go to my head but it's going to be hard. I got flowers from a perfect stranger today!
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Christmas!
I've been crazy busy leading a life instead of wallowing so I haven't even thought about blogging and then I realized that it's almost the end of the year and I should blog one last time for 2006.
This season holiday has been filled with tons of firsts for me and I want to brag about them, because well that's what I do best.
So for the first time ever in ages my whole family spent Christmas together and did the whole Christmas thing. We had our first real Christmas tree. When I was a little kid we had that fake Christmas tree thing but we never got a real one. So this year we got one as a present for my mom. She kept going up to it and sniffing it and saying it smells good! I loved it. Then we had our first Christmas dinner. Well it was on Christmas Eve but hey it's close enough. We actually had over 17 ppl over for dinner which was way more then we expected but we set up the table for everyone. I was also the party host which was my first time being a host for a 'grown-up' party for that many ever.
My favorite firsts were the cooking firsts though. I cooked green beans for the first time ever. Really quick and easy recipe... caramelized onions (only way I'll eat them) with a splash of apple cider (my definition of a splash is about half a cup btw) and then add steamed green beans to that cook together for 5 min. so the green beans pick up the apple cider taste. Then I made my first apple pies... not exactly from scratch since Pilsbury did help me w/ the crust but I did peel and cut the apples and flavor them all by myself. Then this is when the crying and emergency phone calls started. I made my first turkey all by myself... everyone had left the house to tend to other Christmas errands and if I didn't make the turkey either A. no turkey for dinner or B. dinner would have started off really really late. It was really easy too... season turkey with the following salt, pepper and some garlic powder. Make sure it gets the seasoning on all sides. Then cut celery, carrots, onions (and/or any other good veggies into the dish) put veggies underneath turkey add some water. Cook 15 mins per lb or until button pops with an aluminum 'tent' on top of turkey. When done take 'tent' off leave in oven for another 10 minutes to get color onto turkey.
Thanks are given to the following ppl for a great Christmas...
First off to my family for co-operating with me to have a good Christmas with one another.
Next to Howell Strauss for opening his home to all of us to have this event... especially loved the toast where you welcomed the 'whole family' weather by birth, marriage or choice.
Never forget Kevin Strauss for helping me pull this off with helping of shopping and keeping me calm and help with recipe ideas.
Chef Dave Clouser for the apple pie recipe he gave us.
The Strauss-Benjamin-O'Glasser family for welcoming my family and me into their family.
This season holiday has been filled with tons of firsts for me and I want to brag about them, because well that's what I do best.
So for the first time ever in ages my whole family spent Christmas together and did the whole Christmas thing. We had our first real Christmas tree. When I was a little kid we had that fake Christmas tree thing but we never got a real one. So this year we got one as a present for my mom. She kept going up to it and sniffing it and saying it smells good! I loved it. Then we had our first Christmas dinner. Well it was on Christmas Eve but hey it's close enough. We actually had over 17 ppl over for dinner which was way more then we expected but we set up the table for everyone. I was also the party host which was my first time being a host for a 'grown-up' party for that many ever.
My favorite firsts were the cooking firsts though. I cooked green beans for the first time ever. Really quick and easy recipe... caramelized onions (only way I'll eat them) with a splash of apple cider (my definition of a splash is about half a cup btw) and then add steamed green beans to that cook together for 5 min. so the green beans pick up the apple cider taste. Then I made my first apple pies... not exactly from scratch since Pilsbury did help me w/ the crust but I did peel and cut the apples and flavor them all by myself. Then this is when the crying and emergency phone calls started. I made my first turkey all by myself... everyone had left the house to tend to other Christmas errands and if I didn't make the turkey either A. no turkey for dinner or B. dinner would have started off really really late. It was really easy too... season turkey with the following salt, pepper and some garlic powder. Make sure it gets the seasoning on all sides. Then cut celery, carrots, onions (and/or any other good veggies into the dish) put veggies underneath turkey add some water. Cook 15 mins per lb or until button pops with an aluminum 'tent' on top of turkey. When done take 'tent' off leave in oven for another 10 minutes to get color onto turkey.
Thanks are given to the following ppl for a great Christmas...
First off to my family for co-operating with me to have a good Christmas with one another.
Next to Howell Strauss for opening his home to all of us to have this event... especially loved the toast where you welcomed the 'whole family' weather by birth, marriage or choice.
Never forget Kevin Strauss for helping me pull this off with helping of shopping and keeping me calm and help with recipe ideas.
Chef Dave Clouser for the apple pie recipe he gave us.
The Strauss-Benjamin-O'Glasser family for welcoming my family and me into their family.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Bargain Shopper
I think we all know that I love clothes and shoes. We all know that I love quality brand name clothes. Sadly we all also know that I don't make enough money to be able to afford all the quality name brand clothes I would love to have. So what does a girl do? A girl shops for things that are on sale. 90% of my wardrobe is clothes I bought on sale, 5% is stuff people have given to me and the last 5% are stuff I decided to buy for full price because it was a must have item.
This Friday my friend Daneen went shopping at a few stores to buy yarn and other stuff for our Christmas gift projects. Next to the A.C. Moore there was an Old Navy (or as I like to call it Trailer Gap. I pointed out the fact that all their sales items were 50 % off their lowest price. We decided to go in when we were done at A.C. Moore.
So the sales were tremendous. I got clothes betwee $5 to $10. I had an armful of clothes. Although I don't consider Trailer Gap quality name brand it is a known name brand and besides you can use their clothes as a small piece for a great outfit. I always do a tally on how much I'm going to spend before I got the the register. I was ready but when the cashier told me how much I owed it was much lower then what I had added up in my head. I asked her why it was so low. She showed me the cream blouse that I had gotten and told me well that was just $.50 and things came out cheaper then 50% off. I GOT A BLOUSE FOR $.50 THAT'S 50 CENTS PEOPLE. Yeah Trailer Gap is my new favorite sale store!
This Friday my friend Daneen went shopping at a few stores to buy yarn and other stuff for our Christmas gift projects. Next to the A.C. Moore there was an Old Navy (or as I like to call it Trailer Gap. I pointed out the fact that all their sales items were 50 % off their lowest price. We decided to go in when we were done at A.C. Moore.
So the sales were tremendous. I got clothes betwee $5 to $10. I had an armful of clothes. Although I don't consider Trailer Gap quality name brand it is a known name brand and besides you can use their clothes as a small piece for a great outfit. I always do a tally on how much I'm going to spend before I got the the register. I was ready but when the cashier told me how much I owed it was much lower then what I had added up in my head. I asked her why it was so low. She showed me the cream blouse that I had gotten and told me well that was just $.50 and things came out cheaper then 50% off. I GOT A BLOUSE FOR $.50 THAT'S 50 CENTS PEOPLE. Yeah Trailer Gap is my new favorite sale store!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Sleep Overs and Reunions
Baltimore:
I had to go to a work conference down in Baltimore. I was excited because I have friends that live there so I had made play dates with them. I wasn't excited about the conference itself to be honest. I had a roomie to share the hotel room with but last minute she changed plans so I had this huge room all to myself. I invited my friend Alison to sleep over with me. It was our first sleep over together and it was actually fun. We watched girlie movies together and talked all night until we sort of just fell asleep. The next morning she and I did a lot of touristy things and we did some shopping. We took pictures of everything. Even though she's from the area she's never done the tourist thing it was fun. That night a handful of my friends came over to play. We went to the pool and swam and then we did the hot tub thing of course. They took me to the Little Italy which was tons of fun and very filling.
Girls Night In:
A bunch of the girls from chruch had a sleepover at our Bishop's house. His wife threw it for us which was really sweet of her. She had so much food for us when we got there. She had candy, chips, desserts, and tons of pizza. It took forever for us just to eat because as we sat around the dinner table all we could do was keep talking, I mean we are girls. We then watched movies but mostly everyone sat around gossiping about all kinds of stuff. Of course if you're watching a movie slash gossiping you can't help but eat more. It's needless to say that we were very sugared up and that there wasn't a soul in the house that wasn't giggling. Later on the dancing portion of the night started. The Bishop plays the electric guitar which was a surprise since he seems so straight laced. The night ended with ping-pong and more talking till we all fell asleep in our sleeping bags.
ReUnion:
So Alex told me about how there was a re-union for an old Bishop that we had had in the church. He and his wife were moving to Utah and anyone that still lived in the area was invited to his farewell party. I got to see a lot of old friends from church that I hadn't seen in years and we caught up. Everyone except three of us weren't married. There were kids running all over the house. I was in this parallel universe where kids existed. I hardly see kids in my daily life. It felt wierd. By the end of the party I was ready to shoot someone. Everyone kept asking me where my husband was and I kept politely replying that I wasn't married. I kept getting this wierd look from everyone when I said that. Finally someone gave me the "Oh don't worry you'll get married some day as pretty and smart as you are any man would be lucky to have you." WTF?! Did it seem that I was asking for that? It erked me in such a way that I was glad when we finally left. It seemed like an episode of Sex and the City. I was so glad to get back home to my nice happy comfortable apartment where there weren't any kids running around hitting each other and crying for mommy.
I had to go to a work conference down in Baltimore. I was excited because I have friends that live there so I had made play dates with them. I wasn't excited about the conference itself to be honest. I had a roomie to share the hotel room with but last minute she changed plans so I had this huge room all to myself. I invited my friend Alison to sleep over with me. It was our first sleep over together and it was actually fun. We watched girlie movies together and talked all night until we sort of just fell asleep. The next morning she and I did a lot of touristy things and we did some shopping. We took pictures of everything. Even though she's from the area she's never done the tourist thing it was fun. That night a handful of my friends came over to play. We went to the pool and swam and then we did the hot tub thing of course. They took me to the Little Italy which was tons of fun and very filling.
Girls Night In:
A bunch of the girls from chruch had a sleepover at our Bishop's house. His wife threw it for us which was really sweet of her. She had so much food for us when we got there. She had candy, chips, desserts, and tons of pizza. It took forever for us just to eat because as we sat around the dinner table all we could do was keep talking, I mean we are girls. We then watched movies but mostly everyone sat around gossiping about all kinds of stuff. Of course if you're watching a movie slash gossiping you can't help but eat more. It's needless to say that we were very sugared up and that there wasn't a soul in the house that wasn't giggling. Later on the dancing portion of the night started. The Bishop plays the electric guitar which was a surprise since he seems so straight laced. The night ended with ping-pong and more talking till we all fell asleep in our sleeping bags.
ReUnion:
So Alex told me about how there was a re-union for an old Bishop that we had had in the church. He and his wife were moving to Utah and anyone that still lived in the area was invited to his farewell party. I got to see a lot of old friends from church that I hadn't seen in years and we caught up. Everyone except three of us weren't married. There were kids running all over the house. I was in this parallel universe where kids existed. I hardly see kids in my daily life. It felt wierd. By the end of the party I was ready to shoot someone. Everyone kept asking me where my husband was and I kept politely replying that I wasn't married. I kept getting this wierd look from everyone when I said that. Finally someone gave me the "Oh don't worry you'll get married some day as pretty and smart as you are any man would be lucky to have you." WTF?! Did it seem that I was asking for that? It erked me in such a way that I was glad when we finally left. It seemed like an episode of Sex and the City. I was so glad to get back home to my nice happy comfortable apartment where there weren't any kids running around hitting each other and crying for mommy.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Bonfire
My friend Naomi called to ask if I was going to the Harvest Festival tonight. I really wasn't planning on going. I just wanted to stay home on my couch vegging out. I'm a walking pharmacy at the moment and I don't know what the meds well do to me next. She convinced me to go but I was worried something might happen.
I'm glad I went because even though the Harvest Festival was outside in 44 degree weather I enjoyed myself. There was pumpkin carving, and a haunted hayride, tons of food, karaoke and the best part a bonfire for the marshmallows.
All of you that know me know that I am a pyro. I love fires, so the minute I saw it I was next to it right away and didn't move for the rest of the night. I helped keep it going but mostly I sat near it with a stick and marshmallows. Bonefires are great way to get to know ppl better. The whole time I sat there I talked to ppl and got to know my friends better.
The thing is now that I had the taste of a bonfire I want more. Anyone up for camping?
I'm glad I went because even though the Harvest Festival was outside in 44 degree weather I enjoyed myself. There was pumpkin carving, and a haunted hayride, tons of food, karaoke and the best part a bonfire for the marshmallows.
All of you that know me know that I am a pyro. I love fires, so the minute I saw it I was next to it right away and didn't move for the rest of the night. I helped keep it going but mostly I sat near it with a stick and marshmallows. Bonefires are great way to get to know ppl better. The whole time I sat there I talked to ppl and got to know my friends better.
The thing is now that I had the taste of a bonfire I want more. Anyone up for camping?
Saturday, October 14, 2006
ear infections, rascal flatts and closure
I've decided to go back to therapy. Those of you that remember two years ago I started going to therapy under the advice of the doctors at the ER. The way the story goes I woke up with a huge panic attack that caused me to lose mobility in all of my limbs, my vision, and caused very labored breathing. After much discussion of my 'issues' and how to deal w/ my lack of anger management I was deemed cured by my therapist.
The events of May started a avalanche of other events that lead me to believe that there were other issues that needed to be fixed. Between things that happened with 'Billy' and my lack of wanting to deal with all kinds of issues I've been drowning lately. My second session lead to a revelation of why I let men walk all over me and knowing the cause will be a help to stopping the problem.
That hasn't been the only thing my insurance has been covering. I don't know if I told you guys about the strep throat episode I went thru about 2-3 wks ago. Strep throat let me tell you sucks. The only thing that hurts more is an ear infection. Fluid in my ear has caused throbbing pain in one and constant popping in the other. Last night I came home and fell asleep at 6. I only woke up to watch Gray's Anatomy with Chris. Then I went back to bed to sleep of the fever I had. Chris I knew was up to something because he kept asking well is this going to affect your hearing and is the medicine your Dr. going to give you help right away. I promised I'd give him a call as soon as the Dr. gave me the answers.
The student Dr. who saw me (a hottie that went by the name of Steve Matta) said he didn't see anything in the ears. The ear wasn't red and that he saw nothing in it either. So what the heck was causing the pain? My Dr. walked in and looked in the ears and said she has translucent fluid in their. He gave me a decongestant for my ears. Sounds crazy but the stuff is crazy strong. So I called Chris and let him know I'm good not contagious not going to die not going to lose my hearing. All he said was good and let me go. Hmmmm...
An hour later he calls me again and says we have to be at the Rascal Flatts concert by 6:30. Left work an hour later and got my ass ready to party it up. So we met there and we weren't even sure about our seats since Chris got them thru a friend. She got us Suite tickets!!!! She got us all the free food we could want!!! She got us all the free drinks we could want!!!! She kept offering martinis that we kept turning down. Oh if only I were a drinker. When Rascal Flatts sang their second to last song What Hurts the Most. I realized something... the song that had been my anthem for a few monhs since May was a great song but I didn't hurt when I heard it. I've gotten over it. This concert was closure to everything. I can now go on with life and be happy with the things that are happening in my life! Imagine that!
The events of May started a avalanche of other events that lead me to believe that there were other issues that needed to be fixed. Between things that happened with 'Billy' and my lack of wanting to deal with all kinds of issues I've been drowning lately. My second session lead to a revelation of why I let men walk all over me and knowing the cause will be a help to stopping the problem.
That hasn't been the only thing my insurance has been covering. I don't know if I told you guys about the strep throat episode I went thru about 2-3 wks ago. Strep throat let me tell you sucks. The only thing that hurts more is an ear infection. Fluid in my ear has caused throbbing pain in one and constant popping in the other. Last night I came home and fell asleep at 6. I only woke up to watch Gray's Anatomy with Chris. Then I went back to bed to sleep of the fever I had. Chris I knew was up to something because he kept asking well is this going to affect your hearing and is the medicine your Dr. going to give you help right away. I promised I'd give him a call as soon as the Dr. gave me the answers.
The student Dr. who saw me (a hottie that went by the name of Steve Matta) said he didn't see anything in the ears. The ear wasn't red and that he saw nothing in it either. So what the heck was causing the pain? My Dr. walked in and looked in the ears and said she has translucent fluid in their. He gave me a decongestant for my ears. Sounds crazy but the stuff is crazy strong. So I called Chris and let him know I'm good not contagious not going to die not going to lose my hearing. All he said was good and let me go. Hmmmm...
An hour later he calls me again and says we have to be at the Rascal Flatts concert by 6:30. Left work an hour later and got my ass ready to party it up. So we met there and we weren't even sure about our seats since Chris got them thru a friend. She got us Suite tickets!!!! She got us all the free food we could want!!! She got us all the free drinks we could want!!!! She kept offering martinis that we kept turning down. Oh if only I were a drinker. When Rascal Flatts sang their second to last song What Hurts the Most. I realized something... the song that had been my anthem for a few monhs since May was a great song but I didn't hurt when I heard it. I've gotten over it. This concert was closure to everything. I can now go on with life and be happy with the things that are happening in my life! Imagine that!
Monday, October 02, 2006
pick pockets and spin the bottle
I must confess that the last few days have been rather wierd ones. Friday started off normal until I got to the train station when I got a call that made me decide to close my offices and head back home. I was really wanting to go back to bed but I decided to be productive. By eleven o'clock I had finished my work goals for the day. I decided to head out to the gym work out and maybe goof off some. The gym definatly released some endorphins. Then I walked back home and did some errands. When I got hom late in the afternoon I took a nap before going to a play at night. Before leavig I relized that my phone was missing. I thought I had dropped it. Then on Saturday I relized I was missing $ too. Then on Monday morning I realized my bus pass was missing too. I was pick pocketed. So now I have to budget myself for the rest of the month b/c I had to buy a new cell phone (retail price) and a new bus pass.
I could have let it get me down but I decided to screw it. Tonight I want to family home evening. Family home evening or fhe as we fondly call it is a bunch of college students from church who get together and do fun family activities togehter. We sort of created a family group while away from our real families. It was my turn to do the activity. I decided to do spin the bottle with a little 'Mormon' twist. Instead of kissing I told everyone we had to compliment the person the bottle pointed to. There were a lot of giggles throughout the night but there were more awws and thank yous. I think everyone left feeling appreciated by the end of the night. Someone didn't make my weekend bright but I was hoping I could help in making at least one person's night better.
I could have let it get me down but I decided to screw it. Tonight I want to family home evening. Family home evening or fhe as we fondly call it is a bunch of college students from church who get together and do fun family activities togehter. We sort of created a family group while away from our real families. It was my turn to do the activity. I decided to do spin the bottle with a little 'Mormon' twist. Instead of kissing I told everyone we had to compliment the person the bottle pointed to. There were a lot of giggles throughout the night but there were more awws and thank yous. I think everyone left feeling appreciated by the end of the night. Someone didn't make my weekend bright but I was hoping I could help in making at least one person's night better.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Fall
So I've been swimming in my depression the last few days. I've been worried about it but not doing anything about it. Today Chris commited me to going to the gym. I haven't been to the gym in forever. Basically for fear of what might happen if I did go health wise that is.
So I went to the gym. I ran my little heart away on the machines. I left the gym and walked to the City Sports store and bought new running shoes and some running outfits. I decided to walk all the way home. I walked 2 1/2 miles to the CVS where I met up with carrie. and then we walked another 1/2 mile home.
I realized during my walk how great life is and that IT'S FALL OUT THERE! The Penn students were all over the place, it's the nicest weather and the leaves are changing color. Time to start swimming out of the depths of this stupidity I've been keeping myself in.
"Excercise releases endorphins, endorphins make you happy, happy just don't kill their husbands. They just don't!" Elle Woods
So I went to the gym. I ran my little heart away on the machines. I left the gym and walked to the City Sports store and bought new running shoes and some running outfits. I decided to walk all the way home. I walked 2 1/2 miles to the CVS where I met up with carrie. and then we walked another 1/2 mile home.
I realized during my walk how great life is and that IT'S FALL OUT THERE! The Penn students were all over the place, it's the nicest weather and the leaves are changing color. Time to start swimming out of the depths of this stupidity I've been keeping myself in.
"Excercise releases endorphins, endorphins make you happy, happy just don't kill their husbands. They just don't!" Elle Woods
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Billy
So I think you guys have started to notice that I really like finding song lyrics that say how I feel about something at this moment in time. I'm changing Voldermort's name once again. We're going back to his old 'internet' name with a twist. He shall from now on be called Billy. Billy, as in James Blunt's song. I think they go well.
Billy's leaving today (don't know where he's going).
Holds his head in disgrace (he can't escape the truth).
He knows the price that he's paid.
He admits that it's too late to admit that he's afraid.
Chorus
Tomorrow comes. Sorrow becomes his soul mate.
The damage is done. The prodigal son is too late.
Old doors are closed but he's always open,
To relive time in his mind.
Oh Billy.
Billy's leaving today (don't know where he's going).
He's got lines on his face (they tell the story of his pain).
He accepts it's his fate.
He admits it took too long to admit that he was wrong.
Chorus
Once he was a lover sleeping with another.
Now he's just known as a cheat.
And he wish he'd had a mirror; looked a little clearer.
Seen into the eyes of the weak.
Chorus
Billy's leaving today (don't know where he's going).
Holds his head in disgrace (he can't escape the truth).
He knows the price that he's paid.
He admits that it's too late to admit that he's afraid.
Chorus
Tomorrow comes. Sorrow becomes his soul mate.
The damage is done. The prodigal son is too late.
Old doors are closed but he's always open,
To relive time in his mind.
Oh Billy.
Billy's leaving today (don't know where he's going).
He's got lines on his face (they tell the story of his pain).
He accepts it's his fate.
He admits it took too long to admit that he was wrong.
Chorus
Once he was a lover sleeping with another.
Now he's just known as a cheat.
And he wish he'd had a mirror; looked a little clearer.
Seen into the eyes of the weak.
Chorus
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